


Q & A

by RebeccaDopplemeyer



Category: Parks and Recreation
Genre: F/F, F/M, Light Angst, just a silly oneshot, mostly wistful, the ludkins is unrequited though
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-14
Updated: 2015-01-14
Packaged: 2018-03-07 12:37:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,306
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3173936
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RebeccaDopplemeyer/pseuds/RebeccaDopplemeyer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ann thinks about what might have been.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Q & A

**Author's Note:**

  * For [opti](https://archiveofourown.org/users/opti/gifts).



> This fic is inspired by the song "Q&A" by Kishi Bashi.

Young couples and families on wide blankets were scattered around Ramset Park for the last concert of the summer. The bands that played supplied the soundtrack for the fading September day, as children chased each other through the wide field at the park’s center. There was a healthy-sized crowd around Ron’s grill, where Leslie and the rest of the Parks crew were distributing hamburgers and hotdogs. 

Tom and Donna were taking selfies together, trying to get best lighting from the low angle of sunlight bathing the grass and trees around them. ("Magic hour," they called it.) Andy had pulled April onto his back as he galloped to provide a lookout to make sure park security was maintained. 

Ann watched all of this from the grassy hill on the edge of the park. They hadn’t needed her help, after all; Ron was the only one really doing work, and searing meat on a red-hot barbecue was never work for Ron Swanson. The smoke from the grill mingled with the orange haze of the late evening, and the air was filled with the laughter and chatter and the faint shouts of children.

She thought she would go over, eventually, and see them. Say hi to Chris; sit next to Leslie. But for now it felt better to stay separate. 

For now it felt like where she belonged.

Everyone had someone. Leslie had Ben; April had Andy; Ron had Diane. Even Jerry’s incongruously beautiful wife was here, sharing their backup ice cream cone after he had dropped the first. 

Ann knew she had friends, people she depended on, people she loved. But there was no one she loved in that way, and as the sound of laughter filled the park, she thought that days like this were meant to be spent with someone special. 

She wished there was someone next to her who would stay with her to the end of the night, after everyone else had gone home. Of course, eventually she would walk down the sloping hill and join her friends, and enjoy their company for the rest of the evening without reservation. But for now, she would stay at the top of the hill, alone for a few moments, to give that feeling its due.

A moment later, April was trudging up the hill, avoiding making eye contact with Ann. 

“So Leslie said you should come join everybody. Or at least go home to your brothel, because you look tragic up here all alone.”

Ann smiled wryly. “That _does_ sound like Leslie...”

April shrugged, and turned to go.

“Hey,” Ann said, “I know this is out of the blue, but can I ask you a question?”

“You just did. OK, good talk.” April started to leave.

“It’s about why I screw things up,” Ann said brightly.

April clasped her hands together, almost giddy. “It’s time we had a long, _long_ talk.”

“OK settle down, Ludgate,” Ann rolled her eyes. “I was thinking about how everyone here has someone, and I was thinking about decisions I’ve made and… Why did I date Tom? Like, seriously, why?”

“Because you’re lame.”

“Helpful.”

“Ugh,” April said, running a hand through her hair, beleaguered. “It’s because _he_ really wanted to date you. And somehow you thought that was a good enough reason. You’ll have a good relationship when you choose someone yourself, who likes you as you are.” For a second April held Ann’s gaze. Then she shrugged. “And once you lose ten pounds.”

Ann chuckled even as she looked at April with quiet curiosity.

April anxiously put her hands in her pockets and started to leave. 

“I’ll be down in a few minutes,” Ann called after her.

April turned back for a second, and fleetingly smiled. “Good,” she said.

Maybe because of what April had just said, or maybe because it was the first time she’d seen it, but she thought: _April’s beautiful when she smiles._

For a long time, Ann just watched April make her way back to the center of the park, walking around couples on the grass and children playing catch with their parents. And gradually the scene before her faded in her mind’s eye. 

She’s walking into City Hall, and she’s holding hands. With April. 

She’s parked outside of the bright lights of town, and they’re lying on the hood of her car, watching the stars. It’s not the most comfortable position, but it doesn’t matter, because April’s leg and shoulder are pressed up against her. 

She’s seated with April at Ron and Diane’s wedding; it’s beautiful, and everyone is happy, and she rests her head on April’s shoulder, wiping away tears. April pretends not to notice, and acts like she’s bored, but against the pew she squeezes Ann’s hand tight. 

She’s leaning against a bare white wall as April passes her a slice of pizza. Her paper plate rests on the closest in the line of unopened boxes. April is wearing an oversized t-shirt, hair spilling out of her loose pony tail, and in the afternoon light she looks absolutely, ethereally gorgeous. “Yeah,” April says, looking at the sunlight streaming onto bare hardwood floors, “we should put our bed right by the window.” Ann nods; she’s just glad April is finally here.

She’s opening the door of their bedroom to see April in her simple, beautiful dress. “Don’t look at me,” she says, turning away, blushing. “It’s bad luck.” Ann just cups her cheek and kisses her softly. As she pulls away, April smiles at her – the kind of smile she wasn’t sure April had in her, the kind that no one could draw out of her except the person she truly loves.

“It’s nice, isn’t it?” 

Ben’s voice cut into her daydream and she found herself back in the world, still in the park on that late summer day. 

Ann turned to Ben, who was sitting with his arms resting on his crossed legs, beside her. He was watching children play and adults talk and the golden light of a low sun against the park. 

“Yeah,” Ann said, her eyes refocusing on April, tucking a floating strand of hair behind her ear as it wavered in the light, warm breeze. She watched Andy chase children, arms outstretched, close to tagging them. “It is.” Just as she watched April, April watched Andy. April must not have known anyone was watching her, because she was smiling -- the kind of smile Ann had only seen in that fantasy.

“I’m not supposed to tell, but I’m dying to let someone know…” Ben said with a conspiratorial smile. “This whole thing was April’s idea.” 

Ann turned back to look at Ben. “It was?” 

“Yeah,” Ben said. “I mean, I’m getting this from Leslie, but apparently Andy is always talking about how much he loved the Harvest Festival, and how he used to play touch football here in the park when was a kid. April didn’t say anything to him, but she came to Leslie and said that we should do this…. Leslie was so glad that April was thinking civically; I think she was just thinking of Andy.”

April was beaming at Andy. “It makes sense, though." Ann said. "She just wants him to be happy. She’s that kind of person." 

“Yeah,” Ben said, agreeing but taken aback by hearing it from Ann. 

They both watched Andy wrapping April in his arms as they shared a burger, and Leslie leaning down to pass out hot dogs to kids. 

“You know,” Ben said, a hint of bemused surprise in his voice, “we’re all really lucky.”

Ann thought of how Andy got to come home to April every night, and of how nearly every day, for as long as she lived in Pawnee, she would see April Ludgate. “Yeah,” she said with a smile, realizing it was true. “We are lucky.”

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Words I Said](https://archiveofourown.org/works/3188327) by [opti](https://archiveofourown.org/users/opti/pseuds/opti)




End file.
